Beauty Pageant Dropout

Hello gentle readers! I come to you from the lovely town of Aurora, IL. That's right--I'm HOME! For tonight at least. Our show today in Milwaukee was.....quiet. And just a little off. Apparently we were told the kids all enjoyed the show, though we certainly never would've figured it out by their reactions, since there weren't any. But we soldier on. After the show we were trying to get on the road as quickly as possible since we wanted to get to Aurora early because Marta was having the whole cast over for dinner, just like last tour. We had heard about this place near the University we performed at that made gourmet grilled cheese sandwiches, and we all decided to try it. First of all, let me say that Cheesy Grill, in Milwaukee, WI is a GREAT place. The food was excellent and the tomato soup was incredible. I got a cheesy Brat, which is a grilled cheese sandwich with a sliced bratwurst in it. They have all kinds of sandwiches, and I highly recommend going there if you get the chance. So the six of us who were in the van drove there and got our food, awaiting Levitt and Bob to arrive in the truck. We waited quite a while. Then MORE than quite a while. Finally they called trying to find out where we were. Now please understand, gentle readers, that the need to call for directions made all of us a little confused, since the directions were, turn right out of the parking lot onto 43rd, drive until it becomes Miller Ave, the restaurant is on your left. So basically it's a trip involving one street. Well, according to Bob, they had to make a detour since there was an overpass that Levitt wanted to avoid with the truck. Understandable considering what happened to the truck last tour, except for the fact that there is a huge sign telling you the clearance right as you approach the overpass which reads 13' 6"--an entire foot taller than our truck. Let me repeat that--a HUGE black and yellow sign with the numbers 13' 6" on it. But when they call me to find out where we are, they tell me they are at the corner of Miller Ave and National, staring at Miller Park, the baseball stadium. That means all they have to do is go through the intersection ON MIller towards the stadium and they will find the restaurant. I tell them this and hang up. We then await their arrival for an even longer time. Now, the reason we can't just write them off and head out is that Schneider has Bob's phone and wallet because he holds all the valuables during the show, and Bob has a tendency to forget to pick them up afterward. So we can't take off with that stuff and leave Bob trapped in a truck with Levitt without any money or phone. I call them again after a while to find out how they possibly managed to get lost, and find out that somehow, Levitt managed to go the wrong way on Miller and was having problems turning around and finding a street that allowed trucks. This confused me again since if she took a wrong turn on Miller there were ample places to turn around and just get back on Miller without having to deal with any other street. I tried to help them, but they had no idea where they were. o we just kept waiting until finally they managed to get their head out their ass and show up. I handed Bob his stuff, said goodbye, and we got into the van and took off as they went in to get food. So there you have it ladies and gentlemen, Levitt has the ability to get completely lost on a trip that should take ten minutes and involves ONE street! This is who Chamber figured was competent enough to run this tour. Need I say more about why I'm not doing this again?

So we managed to get to Aurora with plenty of time...to wait for the truck. Oy. Thankfully, they made it in enough time for us to get to my place at a decent hour to have dinner. This gathering went far better than the one from the last tour--no one fluked, no-one puked, and no-one tried to do the horizontal mambo vertically on my bed. It was a very jovial get together, with a lot of laughter, a lot of stories from the tour being told, and a lot of alcohol being consumed without anyone getting so stupid that you wanted to club them like a baby seal. Even levitt was tolerable, although I so want to take that woman and shake her until her brains rattle and some sense enters her head and she stops wearing the most horrific, unflattering outfits ever devised by mankind. I'd be able to handle it if she was wearing stuff just because she thought it was comfortable and didn't care what she looked like, but she goes to a lot of trouble to put herself together, and she thinks she looks GOOD. And dear lord she doesn't. Everything she wears de-emphasizes anything positive about her and emphasizes everything negative. And she's so proud......how is it possible women can be so clueless???? But that being put aside, it was a lot of fun, and I'm glad we did it. Marta loves cooking for people, and the cast certainly enjoyed having a home-cooked meal for once. I really do like this group of people, and I am sorry that the tour is almost over just because I am sorry that this team will be disbanded. The only way it could be better is if we could somehow add Michael, Steph, and Josh from the last tour to what we already have. I have no idea what that show would be, but it'd at least be a lot of fun to hang around with everyone.

So we have a show at the Paramount Theatre tomorrow, which is a GREAT place to work, and I am so looking forward to it. It should be a great way to lead up to two long ass drives, one after the show and the other on Wednesday, where I'll be driving the truck for 14 hours with Flo.  But what I really want to talk about tonight has (once again) nothing to do with the tour. It's about Miss California, who if you somehow haven't heard, lost out on the Miss America title at least in part because of an answer she gave to a question from judge Perez Hilton about gay marriage. She said she wasn't for gay marriage because she believed, no offense to anybody, that marriage is between a man and a woman. Perez then said later that her answer to that question led him to deny her the crown. Now, there are other judges beside him, so other people must've found some other reasons, or maybe the same one, to deny her the title completely. And let me say, I don't agree with her opinion. And I believe that Hilton has the right to judge the contest any way he sees fit, and if he wants to make his decision based on that question, that is his prerogative. But now, thanks to this question, and her answer, people are all over her and demanding she make an apology, which she has refused to give, making her  social pariah and the subject of ridicule and disgust from others, especially Hilton on his blog, which I have been told is his career. (Anyone want to tell me how to land THAT gig?) She has since refused to apologize, causing even more people to get pissed at her. And all I have to say is--STOP IT! I'd rather hear yet another report on how to protect myself from the horrible pandemic of the swine flu (cover your mouth and wash your hands....gee, really? Thanks so much for that highly technical medical info.) than listen to yet another group of pundits discuss this non-story. Why is this news? A blond bimbo from California (a state which, as you may recall, passed a resolution changing their state constitution banning gay marriage) says she doesn't approve of gay marriage. What a surprise! Who could have seen THAT coming? And the oversensitive, hyper, publicity hound flamer of a blogger (this is REALLY a job???) gets pissy and wont vote for her, so she doesn't win the title. Too bad. Moving on. Oh wait, you mean, you want to talk more about this? Okay, she won't say she's sorry. Moving on. What? AGAIN? Okay, flamer blogger (Can you pay the bills doing that?) is pissy she won't apologize. Again, huge surprise--I'm amazed. Okay, so we all know where we stand so we can get going.....NO! STILL?? 

Listen people--she answered a question honestly and according to her conscience. It's her opinion. She is entitled to it, regardless of whether we agree with it or not. She holds a position on a subject. She wasn't saying that gays who try to marry should be attacked. She has done nothing to hurt anyone. She voiced an opinion. She's allowed to do that. She's got a right to do that.  And just as Peres Hilton (His name is quite possibly the most creative thing he ever wrote) can disagree, and he can take whatever action he feels is appropriate as the judge of the pageant, but to attack the woman and demand she apologize for expressing an opinion in answering a question HE ASKED is stupid. Don't ask a question when you aren't able to deal with an answer which is contrary to what you want to hear. And this thing has become huge. First off, who the hell cares what this airhead surf bunny has to say about anything? All due respect to the Miss America corporation, but nobody wins that crown because they're a deep thinker. I don't give two shits what she thinks about anything because her greatest skill is standing still and looking pretty. So what Miss California thinks about gay marriage is irrelevant to me as to whether she is fit to be Miss America. Miss America doesn't really DO anything, people. She certainly doesn't hold any kind of office which affects policy in the US on gay rights. So whatever she thinks will have no impact on what happens to gays in the next year or so. So even if she had truly heinous opinions about gays (which from her statements you cannot assume) those opinions would have no chance of being enacted. I like the fact that we can have a Pope who was once a Nazi, but not a Miss America who isn't for gay marriage.

And who the hell is Perez Hilton, and why the hell should I give two shits what HE thinks? Wow, way to go out on a limb there, Perez, and ask a question about gays. Can't see why THAT came out of your mouth. And it's not like we don't know what answer you're looking for. It's a loaded deck--if she answers that she's for it, then most people will think she said it because she knows what you want to hear, and if she answers she's NOT, then she gets ripped for not being progressive enough. Try to understand this, my blogging friend--you are never going to get everybody behind gay marriage. NEVER. But you don't have to in order to get it passed. Just enough people. But here's an idea you twit--you really want to be a JUDGE, ask a question where it isn't so obvious what you want to hear. Actually MAKE them think. But you didn't. You asked the Californian something about gay marriage for all the reasons I listed above. You know CA doesn't go for it, so you wanted to put her on the spot and throw some drama into the program. It's a bush league play, and it's pathetic. Ask her something that indicates what she'd do if she was Miss America. Or here's an idea--ask her a question that requires her to DO some deep thinking, so that maybe we can get someone smart in that pageant. I think it's ludicrous anyone takes anything this guy says seriously. Talk about being famous for nothing. No wonder he made sure his name sounded like Paris Hilton. That way he'd be completely justified in pissing away his time on earth. He'd be famous for nothing

People, here's the thing. He asked, she answered, he didn't like it. Fine. Move on. Stop beating a dead horse. This horse has been beaten into paste by this point. He was a shit for asking that loaded a question, she was stupid for not realizing what he wanted to hear (though I applaud her for telling the truth) so move on. And he's a whiny little brat for getting his knickers in such a twist about it. Opinions mean nothing, only actions count. So as long as she lives and lets live, leave her alone. Especially since as far as I'M concerned, you're no great repository of intelligence either, so your opinion is pretty meaningless as well. Perez Hilton, and all of his ilk aren't anything but bottom feeders. They have no talents of their own, so they hang on to those who do and then take pleasure in trying to tear those people down. They are parasites and contribute nothing useful to society. So screw him. Good for you, Ms California, for sticking to your guns, telling the truth, and refusing to being forced to make an apology. Your answer was stupid and I don't think you have any idea what the hell's going on outside your little bubble, but that can be said about the vast majority of this pathetically uninformed, uncritical country, so i can't fault you THAT much. And I don't see why you  would apologize since you're being asked to by a freak like Perez. If William F Buckley told you you might want to rethink the subject, them maybe, but when a clown says you're wrong, it's hard to change your mind. SO can we all just let this go and stop giving a shit what two dumb, famous for no real reason people say about each other? These people DON'T MATTER in the long run. So stop giving them the attention they crave. It's like giving food to pigeons near your apartment. You do that and they're going to keep coming back. Pigeons near your apartment need to be shot at, not fed. And these putzes need to be ignored or ridiculed, not given attention and taken seriously. So there. Vote for Pond and Shoot at a Pigeon!