Out of the woods

Oh dear gentle readers! I am so glad to once again see you! I thought I would be banished to the wilds of offline forever, never to return, leaving you all wandering, lost, alone and unguided through this vast wasteland that i the Internet, and the even more vast wasteland that is day to day existence. I had made the decision tat Tuesday's day and journey weren't that important, so I did not post about them. I knew that Wednesday would be good, since we were to leave NJ (where we went after our Dover, DE show) and pick up a bathtub for the photo call on Thursday. Yes, we needed a bathtub because we were taking pictures of the math show. Yes, Chamber has a Math show. For those of you who haven't heard about it, now you have. And trust me, you're going to get an earful about it tonight. But first thing's first. 

Tuesday went very well, eve though it was a middle school. And the drive to NJ was also very easy, so now you know why I didn't feel like there was anything THAT blogworthy. The only major news is that Schneider got REALLY sick. He was feverish, with chills, aches, and fatigue. Lie death-warmed over sick. When Bob informed us of that, we picked him up some Gatorade, because I was of the opinion that the medication he was taking had sapped him of electrolytes. I;ve had experience with this. It turns out now he is okay. Not 100%, but okay. Oh, and we learned tht since Levitt seems to have the habit of forgetting to check us OUT of the hotels she checks us INTO, Alice's charge card has been charged for $400 for helping check us in at NC many weeks ago. Yep, instead of switching things over to the company card, Levitt somehow managed to screw that up ND forget to check us out, so they just went with the card on file, which I guess was Alice's. And Levitt's reaction? "Weellllll...that's something you;re going to have to figure out yourself with the bank and credit card company. I think I have the receipt. If you remind me I'll see maybe if I can find it, and remind me and I'll mention it to the office if I get the time." I have no comment on that which could in any way say more than her words themselves. This woman is vile. period.

Wednesday dawned with Schneider still sick, so Flo accompanied me in the truck to drive from NJ to Boston to pick up the bathtub. We added Ted to the truck since we had been told it was a real bathtub and very likely really heavy. So we head off. If anyone here has ever seen the movie "The Cheyenne Social Club" you will have a greater understanding of what Flo and I went through over the next 6 hours. First of all, it took us half an hour to figure out how to turn around to get on the turnpike in the right direction since you can't make a left turn in NJ. Then, once we did get on the turnpike, Ted launched into what was, save for an all-too-brief 30 minute nap, an uninterrupted narrative of anything that crossed his mind--the more insignificant, the better. See "The Cheyenne Social Club", starring Henry Fonda and Jimmy Stewart, and you'll see what I mean. Just the opening scenes will give you an idea of the nonstop yammering. I love Ted--he's a nice guy. But Jumping jesus on a jackhammer he will not shut up! That was wearing on us by the time we pulled into Boston to take the truck to Ryder to allow them to do a routine inspection. We have been out of the truck for a grand total of five minutes when the Ryder lady comes in and tells us that we won't pass inspection because we are missing a light (we knew that) and have a crack in our windshield (which we've had since we picked the truck up.) but they won't give us a rejection because then we couldn't drive the truck. They suggested that some day when we can just let the truck sit for a few days, to go have the windshield fixed somewhere ourselves. I was all for that because it meant we could take the truck, instead of the other option, which was to get a new truck and cross-load (flashbacks of the Parkway Twins!!!) I phoned Levitt and told her, and she talked to the Ryder lady and it was decided we would get a new truck and cross load and let them fix the windshield for us. Oh, and all the other cast members were at the hotel. Levitt was going to join us to help, but it would just be the four of us. Yes, you read that right. Then I found out that after our show in Concord, NH (where we are now) we would drive back to Boston on Monday (we have to anyway because we're doing a reading of the Math show for Spring (more on that and how it's ruining my one shot at stardom later) and RELOAD everything into our old (now fixed) truck. My back was screaming at the thought. So, undaunted, we begin. Because really, what else can you do? We pull everything from one truck and shove it up on to the other. No major difficulty, save for dropping the door cart off the lift gate. Thankfully nothing was broken, be it scenery or actors, but it did wake us all up. The worst part was taking the wooden shelves out of one truck and rescrewing them into the new one since we're going to have to redo it all again on Tuesday. We were informed that since we're doing a show Tuesday in Boston, we'll unload the new truck, Levitt will go get the old truck, which we will load into after the show. That at least went alright. 

So yes, I cross-loaded another Chamber Truck. I can't believe it. Thank goodness I had two other people with me instead of just one, or else it may have killed me. And Flo had helped load the truck before, down in Naples, when Schneider had hurt his back, so that worked out alright. And even Levitt was helpful. Amazing, I know. But we got it done in about an hour and a half or so, and then the three of us went off to pick up the bathtub. Which turned out to be a) light as a feather and b) on wheels. But considering it gave us a third person to help with the truck, I completely forgave Levitt for giving us messed up info. But that's it. I'm done. No more touring where I have anything to do with the set unless it fits into the back of the same vehicle the rest of us ride in. Otherwise, I want to ride a bus and show up at the theatre with everything all ready for me to perform on. At this point in my life and career, I don't want to have to play crew member as well as act. At least not for a place like Chamber. I don't want to have to know DOT regulations, or spend an hour and a half after every show fighting with ratchet straps. I just want to be an actor. That is my diva moment. Thank you for bearing with me.

The rest of the night was uneventful, and we got up bright and early today to get to Pat's university for the photo call. Now here's the crazy thing about Chamber. They took a bunch of pictures for Encore and Classics this fall. I knew we were taking pictures of the Math Show, but we were also taking pictures of encore. All the same pictures we took before. Nothing majorly new, nothing that they couldn't just use old photos for (and by old, I mean from this past FALL) but nope, we had to spend from 8 in the morning until 4:30 in the afternoon changing costumes and makeup and (in my case) having your hair sprayed deepening shades of black throughout the whole day. AAAAAAAAAhhhhhhH!!!!!!! The Math show pictures were okay--at least they were new. I got to play Blaise Pascal. (Yep, it's THAT kind of math show) and since Pat hates photo calls, we were basically allowed to do whatever we wanted while posing. Ted was playing Einstein (I told you it was that kind of show) so we were having a lovely time. You ain't heard "Sisters" until you've heard it sung by two mathematicians. But the rest of the day was long and full of drudgery. They never schedule these things right. I was wearing the Tell-Tale narrator costume as Pascal, and after the math show pics were done, they wanted me to change into Ichabod while they put everyone else into Monkey's Paw. I suggested we take the Tell-Tale narrator pics first. Nope, that had to be last. Why? Your guess is as good as mine. So we wasted two hours while everyone was getting into makeup taking no pics. Oy.

You may be asking what is the math show about? Well, I'll tell you--ALbert Einstein comes back from the dead to help a little girl be more interested in mathematics. He does so by bringing back other dead mathematicians to talk about their discoveries and show her the wonders of the mathematical world, which would in theory, inspire her to pay attention to her studies. So it's like Billa dn Ted's Excellent Adventure with numbers. The problem is that what they talk about is so advanced that no middle or lower high school student would be able to grasp it. Add to that the fact the show is only to be an hour along so it goes by fast, and that means that the extremely advanced stuff they talk about is not explained in any kind of detail. It's zoomed through. Nor is it shown how any of the things we talk about relates to real life. The kid's main objection is that math isn't needed after school. The show doesn't really help disprove that. And the banter among the mathematicians, while funny, is of such a nature that np school administration would be cool with it. We have people calling Pascal a fruit, and making a coming out of the closet joke about him. We also have the show explainig the Fibonucci sequence (Yep, THAT kind of how--that sequence, in case you're wondering goes like so--1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, 55....can you see it?) by using the example of multiplying rabbits, done with "Let's Get It On" playing underneath. ANd these people expect school administrators to be cool with tis? Forget it! The final problem is that while it doesn't give any practical application for math, meaning there's nothing kids can take from the show in order to do better in math, it also doesn't do anything to inspire anyone to become excited about math, because while the characters are okay, the stuff isn't explained well and it's too over their heads. It drives me crazy that we're giving up a day off to come into the city and read a play that shouldn't be advertised as ready to perform, AND it doesn't do anything of what it wants to. It's a good star, if the guy would bring the math level down to earth and instead of waxing philosophical about the beauty of mathematics, he worked in some decent real-life skills that use math. Oh, and there's also the moment in the show when Pascal gets 45 volunteers from the audience--yes, you read that right 45 KIDS! He does this in order to demonstrate a problem in probability theory. You try to get that many kids to stand up and pay attention, and I say it's more like chaos theory. People are stupid. Has SPring not read this? Or is she so blind that she has no real idea what schools will accept? I am so glad I won't be back to even have a chance to play in that show. Ick.

So that's been the last two days, gentle readers. We have a show tomorrow, then we spend the weekend here in NH. Four nights without having to go to a new hotel. ANd this one has a whirlpool. Ahhhhhhhhhhh. That's nice. But fear not--the internet connection doesn't completely suck here like it did in South Boston, so you won't be deprived of my wit and wisdom again. You know everything I do, I do it for you. Pond in 2012--Not Afraid to Use Bryan Adams Lyrics to Win....