Truth in auditioning

Hello all! I know it's been a while since I posted, but to be honest, I haven't been doing a whole hell of a lot this week. Just trying to get back into the swing of not having to do a tour. It's been amazing, getting up at 9 every morning. Usually by then I'd be sitting down for my first cup of tour-made coffee backstage at whatever place we happened to be, having just finished placing all pertinent props and costume pieces. It feels like that was forever ago, and at this time last week I was boarding a bus out of Boston. Time is a strange thing gentle readers, a strange thing indeed. And just to prove that children's theatre is exactly like the Mafia (or would be exactly like the Mafia were the Mafia to exist. Shhhhhhhhhhhhh) yesterday I received an email from Chamber telling me how much Spring and Pat wanted me back this fall and could I please reconsider my decision not to do the fall tour. They were hoping that once I had spent some time at home, I would feel able to come back and do the fall tour. My response is--how bad do they think my home life is? "I know he told us no, but hey, once he has to hang around his house for a few weeks, he'll be BEGGING to get back on the road!" Weird. Of course, one of the main reasons is that Spring apparently had her heart set on me originating one of the roles in the math show. Yeah, THERE'S an incentive to go back. I'm convinced that they realize how bad the show is, and instead of rewriting it so it doesn't suck, they want to try to get people who can turn shit into lemonade. The one nice thing is that I know for a fact that if I went back to do it, I would be working with Alice again, so at least there'd be a friendly face. So being the political wunderkind that I am, I told them I;d give it a week and think it over, careful to express how much I enjoyed working for them (on balance, I did) and how I would be willing to work for them again (I would) but I had to balance personal obligations and local career moves against it. I promised to get back to them quickly so that they wouldn't be left without a cast. That's when it got funny. About an hour later I got an email back from them thanking me for my swift reply and telling me that I didn't have to rush my decision and to take the time I needed to make sure I was REALLY SURE. If they got to a point they needed to cast, they'd contact me. I'm wondering if I can get a Broadway role out of Ms. Sirkin. I think it's time to get all Priceline negotiator on her ass....

So last night I went to audition for a production of Henry V. An OUTDOOR production of Henry V. That shows just how desperate for work I really am. Oh, did I mention it'll run in AUGUST? Oy. But I went because Henry V is a great show, I don't have a bunch of Shakespeare on my resumé, and I also don't have a lot of experience auditioning for it. Plus it'd be nice to get a show for the summer. Well, once I got there, I was hit by the fact that they don't pay. They put it right out there on their little sign on the door of the audition room. Now this in and of itself doesn't bother me. Lots of theatre in Chicago doesn't pay. Hell, lots of theatre in the country doesn't pay. (don't pay? That's a weird sentence.) To be honest, some of the theatre that does pay doesn't pay. (How's that for Zen?) But here's the thing (and for those of you who are sticklers for well-researched fact, I just checked this, so I know I'm right) they didn't put that anywhere in their audition notice. They went to great lengths to tell me when the performance dates were, where the performances were, the age range of people they were looking for, when the rehearsals were, everything. They just neglected to mention that we'd be doing this gratis. I HATE that. Please, if you run a theatre company out there, put that information in your audition notice. We need to know that. Yes, you may lose out on seeing some people who won't audition for places that don't pay, but trust me, you're not getting those people to work for you even if they do come out under false circumstances. To me, that's like a For Rent sign that neglects to put the rent on it. I mean, what's the point? If I can't afford the rent, I'm not going to come look at the apartment, and if they don't pay me, I'm not going to work for them. This is the ost important info you can put in an audition notice. I need to know this before I call you to come in. I don't need to know a number, just that there is or isn't pay. Period. 

All that having been said, I went ahead and auditioned for them anyway, mostly because I was already there, and, as I've said, I haven't had a lot of experience auditioning for Shakespeare, so I figured the practice would be good. They seemed to like me. If they want me, I might do the show, since I plan on spending the summer living off of unemployment anyway, so it wouldn't be hurting my ability to make money. But this is a very rare and special case, and in now way mitigates my anger at the for not disclosing this fact beforehand. And since I am auditioning for a bunch of stuff that pays, they are at the back of the line. Tell the truth, people, and deal with the consequences. That's all I'm asking. Jeez, i seriously need to start a theatre that doesn't screw around with people. Where the hell are the venture capitalists when I need them?? Pond in 2012--He Can Handle the Truth--Can You?